Workplace friendships, support and identity in America

How work becomes a place of friendship

Among adults who had at least one close friend, 42 percent reported having met a close friend through their own workplace. Another route was a spouse's or partner's workplace, reported by 10 percent. School was also a common source of close friendship, at 44 percent, while 30 percent had become close friends with a neighbor. These responses describe where friendships had begun over people's lives, including relationships that might continue after a job ended. People could name more than one setting, so the percentages cannot simply be added to count everyone whose friendships began through work.

The picture within current workplaces was more varied. Twenty-six percent of workers had at least one close friend where they worked, and 52 percent had friends there whom they did not consider close. Fifteen percent were not friends with anyone they worked with, while 6 percent had no colleagues. The largest group occupied the space between close friendship and having no friends at work.

These relationships often existed mainly within the working day. Just over a quarter of workers, 27 percent, socialized with colleagues outside work at least monthly. More than half, 54 percent, seldom or never did. Knowing coworkers as friends did not necessarily involve a regular social calendar together after hours.

Experiences of friendship also differed across people's working lives. Among respondents with close friends, 45 percent of college graduates had met one through work, compared with 35 percent of those whose education ended at high school or earlier. Within current workplaces, 29 percent of college-educated women reported a close friend, compared with 20 percent of college-educated men.

Time with an employer was another part of the picture. Fifteen percent of workers who had been with their employer for less than a year had a close friend there, compared with 37 percent of those who had stayed for at least 20 years. Workers with close workplace friends were also less likely to be looking for a new job. The authors identify two possible directions in the relationship between friendship and time with an employer. Staying gives people more time to develop friendships, and valued friendships may give people a reason to stay. A new colleague and someone who has spent years with an organization arrive at work with different histories of shared experience.

Friendship, support and the experience of a working day

Feeling part of a team was common, including among workers whose relationships remained less personal. Across the workforce, 38 percent said being part of a team described their experience very well, and another 42 percent said somewhat well. Close friendship was associated with a stronger sense of being part of that team. Forty-nine percent of workers with a close friend chose very well, compared with 18 percent of those with no friends at work.

Support was also more widespread than close workplace friendship. Seventy-six percent of workers had felt supported by colleagues at least a few times in the preceding week, including 51 percent who felt this every day or nearly every day. Being able to count on someone during the working day and considering that person a close friend are related experiences without being the same one.

The differences extended to how people experienced their jobs. Sixty-two percent of workers with a close workplace friend were very or completely satisfied with their job. The figure was 58 percent among those who had friends at work but no close friends, and 37 percent among those with no work friends. Ordinary friendship had a place in this pattern alongside closer relationships.

For meaning and fulfillment, the differences were more pronounced. Forty-seven percent of workers with close workplace friends said their job provided a great deal of meaning and fulfillment, compared with 35 percent of those with other work friends and 21 percent of those with none. Workers with close friends were also more likely to feel excited or engaged with their work every day or nearly every day, 45 percent compared with 19 percent among those without work friends.

Being appreciated was part of this daily experience. Fifty-six percent of workers with a close friend felt valued and appreciated by the people around them every day or almost every day. Among workers without friends at work, 27 percent felt this way as often. Sharing something personal was more common too. In the preceding week, 49 percent of workers with close friends had discussed a personal matter with a colleague, compared with 16 percent of those with no work friends.

These are associations among people's existing relationships and experiences. The survey did not assign friendships or establish that friendship alone produced greater satisfaction. It shows how closely the social experience of work was linked with feeling engaged, appreciated and able to talk about personal matters.

That pattern reached beyond job satisfaction. Twenty percent of workers with a close workplace friend had felt lonely at least a few times in the preceding week, compared with 36 percent of those with no friends at work. Workers with close work friends also tended to have larger friendship networks overall. Sixty-eight percent had at least four close friends in their lives, compared with 38 percent of those with no workplace friends. They were also more likely to be very or completely satisfied with their overall number of friends, at 65 percent compared with 43 percent. These measures place workplace ties within people's overall friendship networks.

The people who organize workplace social life

Some of the occasions that bring colleagues together depend on someone organizing them. Thirty-four percent of workers had helped plan a workplace social activity in the preceding year, such as a birthday, holiday celebration or happy hour. Women were more likely to have taken part in this work, at 42 percent compared with 25 percent of men.

Education and gender overlapped in these differences. Forty-nine percent of college-educated women had helped organize an event, compared with 32 percent of college-educated men. Among workers with a high school education or less, the figures were 29 percent for women and 21 percent for men. The effort involved in creating occasions to socialize was distributed unevenly.

The experiences of recent organizers included both support and strain. Among workers who had helped organize a social activity in the past month, 66 percent felt supported by colleagues every day or almost every day. Among those who had never helped organize one, 45 percent felt supported that often. Yet 47 percent of recent organizers had felt stressed or overwhelmed at work at least a few times in the preceding week, compared with 38 percent of those who had never organized an activity.

These findings give us a fuller way to recognize the people who help colleagues gather. Their participation was associated with more frequent support and more frequent stress. The survey measured their overall workplace stress, so it cannot tell us how much came from organizing. Both experiences belong in an account of the time and effort people give to workplace social life.

Being trusted, appreciated and helped to develop

Relationships with supervisors involved several distinct experiences. Among workers with a boss or supervisor, 60 percent were very or completely satisfied with that relationship. Seventy-nine percent often felt trusted, 61 percent often felt treated fairly, and 48 percent often felt appreciated. A worker could experience trust in their work without receiving appreciation as regularly.

The frequency of appreciation was closely associated with job satisfaction. Seventy percent of workers who often felt appreciated by their boss were very or completely satisfied with their employment situation. That fell to 48 percent among those who sometimes felt appreciated and 27 percent among those who never did. Being trusted to do a job and knowing that one's contribution is appreciated describe different parts of a supervisory relationship.

Career guidance added another dimension. Just over half of workers with a supervisor discussed their career goals and opportunities often or occasionally, while 46 percent seldom or never did. These conversations were reported by 62 percent of college graduates and 44 percent of workers with no college education. Satisfaction with a supervisor did not necessarily include regular discussion of where a person hoped to go next.

Mentoring showed a similar educational difference. Forty-three percent of survey respondents had, at some point, had someone in their field who advised them and helped guide their work or career. Among college graduates, 57 percent had experienced this, compared with 31 percent of respondents with a high school education or less. The question concerned help received across a career, including from someone outside a current supervisory relationship.

The gender pattern depended on education. Among college graduates, men and women reported similar access to mentoring, at 56 and 57 percent. Among those without college education, the report found a larger difference, with 36 percent of men and 26 percent of women reporting a mentor. This was a different pattern from participation in organizing social activities. Contributing to workplace social life and having someone help with a career were distinct experiences, with different distributions of opportunity.

The supervisor's gender offered a more complicated picture than a simple preference for working with men or women. Most workers reported to someone of the same gender, but the quality of the supervisory relationship was broadly similar across combinations. Feeling trusted, treated fairly and appreciated varied little by the boss's gender. One difference appeared in career conversations among women aged 18 to 34. Sixty-seven percent of those with male supervisors discussed career goals or opportunities at least occasionally, compared with 53 percent of those with female supervisors. These findings describe particular relationships within the survey, rather than establishing which kind of supervisor someone should seek.

Feeling comfortable and respected among colleagues

Having relationships at work can coexist with uncertainty about how to present oneself there. Forty-three percent of workers felt they needed to make minor or major changes in how they looked, spoke or acted for work. This experience was especially common among college-educated women, at 52 percent, a group that also reported substantial involvement in workplace social life. Social participation and feeling free to present oneself as usual were separate parts of the experience.

Professional self-doubt was common too. A third of workers agreed that they often doubted their professional abilities or achievements. Forty percent had felt they were not good at their job at some point in the preceding week. Among workers under 30, this was reported by 55 percent of women and 46 percent of men. These answers describe people's confidence in their work, not an assessment of their actual ability. A person's account of working life can include this uncertainty alongside friendship and participation.

The way colleagues treated one another also mattered. About half of women who had heard a sexist joke or comment in the past month were very or completely satisfied with their coworker relationships, compared with 65 percent of women who had never heard one at work. Among workers of color, 45 percent of those who had recently heard a racist comment or joke were highly satisfied with their coworker relationships, compared with 63 percent of those who had never heard such comments.

These findings distinguish having social interaction from experiencing it as respectful. A workplace's social life includes what people say to one another and the company they keep, as well as the gatherings they organize.

The place work holds in a person's life

For 71 percent of workers, what they did for a living was an important part of who they were. Work could carry personal significance alongside its relationships and responsibilities. The survey also asked about a different experience, continuing to think about work while away from it. Sixty percent said this described them very or somewhat well.

Thinking about work outside working hours was particularly common among people with postgraduate education, at 73 percent, compared with 56 percent of workers with a high school education or less. It was also more common among hybrid workers, at 72 percent, than among fully remote or fully in-person workers, at 59 percent and 57 percent respectively.

This preoccupation was associated with anxiety. Among workers who said thinking about work while away from it described them very well, 23 percent felt anxious every day or nearly every day. Among those who said it did not describe them well at all, 9 percent felt anxious that often. The comparison concerns how much work occupied people's thoughts, rather than whether they had friends at work. Personal significance, supportive relationships and ongoing worry each tell us something different about the place a job holds in someone's life.

Working arrangements and relationships beyond the job

Remote, hybrid and in-person workers reported different combinations of social experiences. Sixteen percent of fully remote workers had close relationships with coworkers, compared with 24 percent of hybrid workers and 30 percent of those working in person. Remote workers were also less likely to feel supported by colleagues every day or almost every day, at 43 percent compared with 54 percent of in-person workers.

Other experiences were more similar. Seventy-five percent of remote workers felt part of a team, compared with 81 percent of in-person workers. Satisfaction with coworker relationships was nearly identical across arrangements. Sixty-one percent of remote workers, 62 percent of hybrid workers and 60 percent of in-person workers were very or completely satisfied. Less frequent support and fewer close friendships did not translate into correspondingly lower satisfaction with colleagues.

The comparisons changed again when the survey asked about family time. Sixty-two percent of remote workers were very or completely satisfied with the amount of time they spent with family, compared with 54 percent of hybrid workers and 48 percent of in-person workers. Among workers who had close friends, those working remotely were also somewhat more likely than in-person workers to have met one in their neighborhood, at 28 percent compared with 22 percent.

Flexibility helped describe the practical differences among these arrangements. Among workers with a supervisor, 62 percent of remote workers and 57 percent of hybrid workers often felt free to attend to a personal matter during the working day. Among fully in-person workers, 35 percent reported that freedom. These were comparisons among people in different jobs and circumstances, rather than a test of moving the same workers between settings.

The social experience of a job extends into the time and availability people have for other relationships. In this survey, workers could have fewer close ties with colleagues while being more satisfied with their family time. Understanding where work fits in a person's life involves both the relationships it provides and the room it leaves for the people beyond it.